Frequently Asked Question That Frequently Left Unanswered
Here are some questions that dear friends and colleagues asked me before but either unanswered or given an indirect answer to the question. The reason lies between my inability to answer at the moment because the answer needs some explanation (and to make a quick summary on it would stray the real meaning) and my humble consideration to avoid meaningless debate over the topic. Realized the recurring nature of the questions, I decide (on a rare occasion of spare time) to write the answers to the topics that become my personal insight.
So here are some thoughts, as the answer to the questions, which I hope would make a fine bridge of communications. A lot of people nowadays want to be understood, but forget to open their front door or build bridge to their mind and soul for others to come.
#1 What do you really want to be? I think you choose the wrong academic subject.
I used to think like that too, being the wrong guy in wrong place. But then, looking back from today, it meant to be that way and it should be that way for me to reach this point. I believe that fate is something that linked one from one to another. The only way for me to reach certain level of knowledge is by surviving a sequence of events in my past life. For example: the only way I could understand and appreciate art music now is by dwelling in underground music scene for some time before. So I consider myself in the right track of my life.
Then I also realized that I will be, forever, a son of the ‘two worlds’. I was studying science and engineering and at the same time my passion in art and culture is not a mere hobby. I also grew up in a microcosm of intercultural society. My blood is a mixture of the Javanese and the Dayak people, with all the inheritance of both cultures are flowing in it. I learn the ethics, stories, customs, and believe of both cultures, shaping my point of view on greater issues like the concept of a nation and cultural issues in Indonesia.
I grew in a great toleration of two great religions: Islam and Christianity. While people out there busy killing each other on the name of it, I started to track the root of both religions through the line of the prophets and each religion’s holy book even since elementary school. I’ve given the opportunity to taste the luxury of western world while at the same time witnessing poverty and was experiencing the unbalanced economic growth and public services (I experienced the scheduled water service and electricity by national company; imagine a situation when no water supply in scheduled time and daily routine of electricity black out is common).
Now where does this entire thing lead me now? It helps me to develop an honest skill of empathy I guess. Perhaps not (yet) in the great level of Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Tan Malaka, or the prophets Jesus and Muhammad. This skill, though not yet perfected, helps me to easily learn from everything and made me easier to appreciate little things. Quoting my former teacher in the literature appreciation class back in ITB, Dr. Acep Iwan Saidi, he said that, “Great authors made great masterpiece by simply developing their skill of empathy.” So I think certain level of greatness only made available after reaching certain level of empathy. Only through empathy then, an appreciation to little things in life could be possible; when after both are fulfilled, true gratefulness would follow.
Perhaps considered absurd by some people, what I really want is to be a polymath: Homo Universal, Insan Kamil, Satrio Pinandhito, Adam Kadmon, and whatever name exists for such being. Somehow, being a son of ‘the two worlds’ is a logical path to become one. It explains my hunger for wisdom and knowledge, my endless struggle in spirituality and moral conduct, my restless feeling to begin a journey for the greater truth. A translator to so many different languages; a bridge for points separated.
I feel a strong need to become one, especially in facing the challenge of the 21st century. An era I consider would demand oneself to be able to answer for so many different calls: financial stability, global culture and society problems, knowledge and information processing, spirituality and the search for meanings, etc. An era where specialized self tend to be alienated from the big picture of life itself, become easily entrapped in a blind fanaticism and logical fallacies. Nothing wrong in specialization; missing the sense of proportion is. Sense of proportion is something many people lack of these days.
Since I was a small boy, I’ve dreamt to become a polymath. One who’s not only skilled in many fields but granted an ability to share and become useful to others around. I think the only time when I finally know whether I’ve reached this or not, is the moment before I die. The moment I finally could see the history of my life in a flash, giving me a chance to finally make a final conclusion: is the life I lead has finished its noble mission given by God?
